Gregory: What is your name?

Wangechi: My name is Wangechi.

Gregory: Your age?

Wangechi: Thirty-two years.

Gregory: Your profession?

Wangechi: IT. IT Work.

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi: I am, I am sort of a Business Analyst.

Gregory: Where is your home?

Wangechi: My home is in Kenya. Somewhere called Kiambu County.

Gregory: Okay, please answer the first seven questions from the perspective of you as a child.

Wangechi: Okay.

Gregory: Wangechi.

Wangechi: Yes.

1.

Gregory: What do you know?

Wangechi: Uh, as a child, I know . . . I know that when, uh, when there is a rainbow—

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi:—it is not going to rain.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: I also know that when it rains and it is sunny at the same time—

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi:—that two hyenas are getting married.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: I also know that my, my parents are superheroes.

Gregory: Mhm.

2.

Gregory: Describe what this planet smells like.

Wangechi: [Laughing softly]

Gregory: As a child.

Wangechi: As a child. This planet is . . . Okay, I grew up in a place called Naivasha. That place is, eh, has been known to be dusty.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: So, the planet smells like dust.

Gregory: Mhm.

3.

Gregory: How is it possible to forgive the unforgivable?

Wangechi: Hm. That is a, that is a tricky one. Um, I think, I think as a child it is quite easy to forgive. That is what I would say. Because children tend maybe to . . . I don’t know whether to say forget very fast and move on to something else.

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi: I don’t know, maybe like when you beat up a child, uh, they cry, maybe they tell you they hate you at that moment.

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi: But maybe in an hour’s time they will come back to you, and they start telling you how much they love you, how much . . . They start showing you some, some love. I don’t know. That is . . . I have observed that with children. But I think when . . . So as a child, I think it, it, uh . . . And I am speaking of maybe children, maybe six years and below or something. But as a child, as you grow up, and maybe you start to, maybe to remember your childhood and maybe you start to have these memories of what happened. Maybe that is now when you start to process things, and know my primary caregiver maybe did something that was not right. So, when you start processing this, I think it becomes . . . That is when it becomes sort of, eh, nearly impossible to forgive them.

Gregory: Now, from your perspective now.

Wangechi: Mhm.

Gregory: How about when you were a child? How old were you and was your caregiver a female or male?

Wangechi: [Stuttering] I had both parents. Mom and dad. Yeah. I had both parents; mom and dad.

Gregory: And, uh, how old were you when something that’s unforgivable been happening to you?

Wangechi: I would not say that I really had an unpleasant childhood.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: So, I, I was, I think I was answering this, this question not based on my experience, but, eh, maybe experiences of other people.

Gregory: That you’ve observed.

Wangechi: Yes.

Gregory: In your childhood.

Wangechi: Yes.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah. Or, or, maybe, I don’t know or maybe something happened and I can’t recall. Maybe my, my . . . I blocked it. I don’t know.

Gregory: Maybe it’s in your subconscious.

Wangechi: Exactly. Yeah. Maybe it is in my subconscious.

4.

Gregory: What makes you happy . . . as a child?

Wangechi: What makes me happy as a child? Uh, seeing my mum come pick me from school.

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi: I think just seeing her made me happy. Um, I also remember when my dad used to take us to, to these fun trips where we would go to the museum or an animal orphanage or just take a trip to upcountry.

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi: So, I think those moments made me happy. And maybe go to national parks and take a trip to see my grandma . . . my grandparents.

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi: Um, when I would also, I think when, when I got some new clothes [slight laughter] and some new toys. That would make me happy. Uh, I remember also playing with my neighborhood kids.

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi: Yeah. Riding, riding my bicycle. Just, you know, just playing around the neighborhood. Just laughing—

Gregory: Anything specific you remember?

Wangechi: Uh—

Gregory: Any moment, any day?

Wangechi: Nothing. Um, but uh, I don’t know, nothing comes to mind that specific.

Gregory: And uh, what makes you happy now, as an adult?

Wangechi: As an adult. Okay. Let’s see. When I set a goal and I manage to accomplish it, that makes me happy. When I write code and it runs, it executes without any errors [slight laughter] that—

Gregory: Mm. That makes you happy.

Wangechi: . . . makes me happy. Yeah. Um, let’s see. I think also when I, maybe extend a kind hand to someone else, either a friend or a family member whenever I can, it makes me happy and, eh, fulfilled.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Um, then I think for a long time I have also struggled with, with uh, with self-love and self-acceptance, you know, those kinds of things.

Gregory: Mhm. Mhm.

Wangechi: So, I am also learning to just love, love myself, embrace just who I am every day. And knowing that I am making such kind of a progress also gives me joy.

Gregory: Mhm. Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah.

5.

Gregory: Describe a world in which God exists and a world in which God doesn’t exist.

Wangechi: Okay. This is as a child or just as . . .?

Gregory: As a child. As a child.

Wangechi: Uh-huh.

Gregory: Under eighteen, again. You can be seventeen thinking about this. Any age you remember yourself thinking about God. A world with God and a world without God.

Wangechi: Hm. Okay. A world where God exists. I think, um, thing is, I grew up, uh, I grew up in church. Mm, but I, I don’t know. For me, it was just waking up and going to, to church every Sunday and not thinking much about it.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: About . . . Yeah. So, I don’t know. But I think, hypothetically, maybe a world where God exists is where, um, people are healthy. Like my family is healthy. Uh, nature is thriving. Um, people are just, uh, kind to each other.

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi: Mhm. There is love and respect going around.

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi: Yeah. And in a world where God does not exist is the absence of all that I have said.

Gregory: Mhm. Mhm. So pure evil.

Wangechi: Yeah. [Laughing lowly] I don’t know. Yeah.

Gregory: So, God was good in your mind when you were a child?

Wangechi: Yeah. I was taught that God is good, and he’s perfect.

6.

Gregory: What is your most vivid memory . . . from your childhood?

Wangechi: Hm. So, uh, there is, uh, good memory that I remember. So, I remember once we were coming back from my aunt’s place. Um, my aunt, eh, she lives, she lives, eh, somewhere called Mombasa.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah. I don’t know how conversant you are with, eh, Kenya?

Gregory: Eh, tell me about it, please.

Wangechi: Okay. [Slight laughter]. Anyway, [clears throat] from Mombasa to where we lived, eh—

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: It was maybe a ten-hour journey by road.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah. So, uh, I think . . . Most, most of the December holidays we used to visit, when I say “we,” I mean me and my siblings. We used to visit my aunt somewhere in Mombasa. Mombasa is uh—

Gregory: Ten hours away from where you lived?

Wangechi: Yes. It is ten hours, just ten hours away from where we used to live at that particular time. And Mombasa is just a beautiful place. A lot of coastal beaches, white beaches. It’s, it’s just magical. Um, so yeah, we used to, to go with my siblings, meet with my cousins, just eh, enjoy the holiday. So I remember when we were coming back from Mombasa now to where we used to live; a ten-hour drive and uh, uh when we reached, eh . . . I mean, when we got to, to Nairobi, that was our destination. I think across the road I saw my dad. My dad, my, um, my dad, uh, standing, standing just waiting for us. And, uh, I think that memory has, has been with me since then because I did not expect to see him. And it was just a surprise for all of us. So him being there waiting for us, we, actually, he arrived before us, and just seeing him, um, it made me feel safe and, and cared for as a child, and loved. So, I think that, that memory has stayed with me up to now. I still . . . It is so vivid in my mind that—

Gregory: That he was there.

Wangechi: That he was just there. It could be trivial but I, I just remember it up to now. And then again, it was a surprise. We did not even expect to see him, but he was there. Yeah.

Gregory: How old were you at that time?

Wangechi: I think I was about eight years.

Gregory: Eight years old.

Wangechi: Yeah.

Gregory: And he made you feel safe at that time.

Wangechi: Yes. I was actually very . . . I don’t know. I was happy to see him. Let’s say, yeah, I was happy to see him.

7.

Gregory: What will be the kindest thing you do when you’re older?

Wangechi: Mhm. I will build [clears throat], I will build my mum a huge and spacious house. I think also where I stayed in, in the place I mentioned, Naivasha, there were a lot of street kids. So, some . . . sometimes I thought I would just buy them food whenever I can.

Gregory: So, you thought you’d buy them food when you’re an adult, whenever you can?

Wangechi: Yeah.

–

Gregory: Please answer the next seven questions from your present-day perspective.

–

8.

Gregory: What will you carry in your suitcase on your day of departure (literal or symbolic)?

Wangechi: A bottle of water. Three-liter bottle of water. Uh, a packet of gum. Chewing gum.

Gregory: Mhm. Any specific type?

Wangechi: One called PK.

Gregory: PK?

Wangechi: Yeah. We have a brand called PK. That is my favorite.

Gregory: Mhm. Okay.

Wangechi: Hm, a warm, a warm sweater. Uh-huh. [Slight laughter] Mhm. A picture of my family.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah.

9.

Gregory: How many lives would you like to live?

Wangechi: Uh, I think two lives.

Gregory: Two.

Wangechi: Yes.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: This current one that I am living.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Where I get to experience everything; the good, the bad, the ugly. Where I, where I also get to pay all my karmic debts. Uh, then another life where I only get to experience the good memories of this, of a past life, of the previous life.

Gregory: Of the present life that you’re living?

Wangechi: Yes. Yes. Now, in another life, this will be my previous life, right?

Gregory: Mhm. Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah. So, I’m saying in my next one, I just want to experience the good memories of, of my past life.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi. Yeah.

Gregory: And uh, where do you think this karmic debt in your present life is coming from?

Wangechi: Uh, just my present life. Yeah. Maybe before I leave planet Earth, I should have paid any pending karmic debts that I owe. I don’t want to say maybe they’re from another past life. I don’t know. They could be, but . . .

Gregory: But what do you think? What do you sense? Did you have a past life? Or is this your first life?

Wangechi: I have actually thought about that. Whether I had a past life. And I don’t, eh, currently, I don’t believe in the concept of a past life because I mean, what is the point of saying that you had a past life if you cannot remember that past life?

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah.

Gregory: But in the next life, your second life, the point of . . . What would be the point of remembering only the good memories in your second life, by the way?

Wangechi: Because there would be no pain, or trauma, or having to process the trauma. Uh, or just any disappointments. It would just be only the good memories.

Gregory: So, you want to live a happy life, devoid of any evil and pain?

Wangechi: Yes. Because in my past life, I already did that.

Gregory: Mm. You paid your dues.

Wangechi: Yes, I did.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah.

10.

Gregory: What should be forgotten, and what should be remembered?

Wangechi: [Stuttering] Is it possible to really forget everything? In my opinion, I think nothing should be forgotten.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: I think, um, I think I should be able to, to remember everything as painful, maybe, or as traumatic as it should be. Because one way or the other, I think it always comes out of your subconscious mind. So—

Gregory: But you wish to forget, though.

Wangechi: Yeah. Mm.

Gregory: You wish to forget very much.

Wangechi: But remember it is forgetting in this life. In the next life, I should just remember the good memories.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah.

Gregory: Are you trying to block some of the memories, the bad memories of your past?

Wangechi: Yes. Of course. Actually, my, I think a big, a huge part of my childhood memories are blurry.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah. I think my brain sort of blocks so much of them. So sometimes, I cannot remember. I only have aspects, small aspects of my childhood that I remember, and not everything. I say this because when I sit down with my elder sister; she has so many memories of the two of us together. But some . . . somehow, I cannot recall most of my childhood memories.

Gregory: Because they were traumatic.

Wangechi: Some of them, yeah. Some of them, yeah, yes.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: And not maybe, and not, and not traumatic in an exaggerated way. I was, I never, I never went through physical abuse or sexual abuse. None of that. But of course, there are those moments where maybe an aunt says something that hurts your . . . hurts my feelings. Or maybe someone makes a comment on how, on how I look. Such kind of things. They might be subtle . . .

Gregory: Emotional. Emotional abuse.

Wangechi: Yes, exactly. Yeah.

11.

Gregory: What would you like to know, Wangechi?

Wangechi: Um, I think I had thought about that question. We are about approximately seven billion people in the whole world. So, I was just wondering, why is there so much loneliness going around?

I know I have experienced loneliness, and it is not something pleasant.

Gregory: Mm.

Wangechi: So, yeah, that is one thing I would want to know.

12.

Gregory: Describe yourself to non-human intelligent life.

Wangechi: [Soft laughter] Like the aliens? [Soft laughter]

Gregory: Perhaps.

Wangechi: [Soft laughter] Okay. Uh, my name is Wangechi. Yeah, earthlings we are, we are known by our name. I have a body and a soul. Mm, I am fueled and powered by food. Mm, I was, I was lucky enough to find food when my soul decided to have an experience on planet Earth. Um, I laugh when happy. I cry when sad and disappointed. I sleep when I’m tired. Every day, I strive to be kind to myself and to others. My, my fellow, my fellow earthlings have expressed that I am, I am confident and, uh, shrewd and a good cook [Soft laughter] and a good dancer. I can also be very self-critical and overly emotional, and also maybe short-tempered. Mhm. I dance as a form of fitness activity.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah.

13.

Gregory: Wangechi, what is in the middle between good and evil?

Wangechi: In my opinion, I think, I would say nothing. I think in this concept of good and evil, uh, I think there are no grey areas. Something is either good or evil. Also, in this concept, it, whether good or evil is very subjective. It depends on an individual’s values and beliefs.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: So, so whatever is good for me, may be good, may be evil to another person, and vice versa.

Gregory: So there is no objective good or evil, do you think?

Wangechi: Uh, yes, there’s uh, maybe, maybe the religious texts would have the objective good and evil.

Gregory: Mhm.

Wangechi: Yeah.

14.

Gregory: How does it feel to be alive today?

Wangechi: Hm, I am, I am grateful. I am grateful that I can, I can afford just the, the normal basic needs that I need. I think I am also grateful that I am recovering well from the medical procedure that I underwent. I am also grateful for the support that I have had for, from my family during this period. So, to be alive at this moment, let me just say that I am grateful. Yeah.

Gregory: Mhm.

_

Intuition

It is mostly accurate.
It seeks to be my best friend and guide.
Stop fighting it, ignoring it.
It is my intuition.