Gregory: What is your name?

Marianna: My name is Marianna.

Gregory: Your age?

Marianna: Twenty-six.

Gregory: Your profession?

Marianna: Um, artist, I’ll go with that.

Gregory: Where are you from? Where’s your home?

Marianna: I’m from Ukraine. That’s my home.

Gregory: Any particular city?

Marianna: Odessa, but Kyiv too. They’re both beautiful.

Gregory: I’d like you to remember your childhood for the first seven questions, any age under 18.

Marianna: Ok.

1.

Gregory: What do you know?

Marianna: Hardships.

Gregory: Mhm.

Marianna: Lots of relocations. Missing my dad. Missing communication. Yeah, most of it is these things. But also missing my mom. Because most of the time I was alone while growing up.

Gregory: Why is that so? Would you share, please?

Marianna: Well, my mom is a complicated human. She didn’t want a child so . . . she always tried to provide me with everything, but while providing this, she was never there. So basically, I was raised alone. That’s why.

Gregory: Completely alone.

Marianna: We had a nanny. But that’s one of the problems from the beginning.

Gregory: You had siblings with you?

Marianna: No, cat. I had lots of cats. [Laughs]

Gregory: And your dad was away as well.

Marianna: My mom and dad were separated when I was two, so my mom moved to Greece and she took me with her after a while. So I didn’t have my dad because he was in another country and my mom was always working, always someone, and I’m always left alone at home. So it goes like that.

Gregory: Mhm.

Marianna: Over time, we got better communication because I grew up. I could speak with her better. She could trust me, I could trust her, but still, it’s always her somewhere else and I’m where she left me.

2.

Gregory: Would you describe what this planet smells like?

Marianna: Have you ever visited ship places, like ports? The smell of fish—

Gregory: Yeah, aha.

Marianna: And the smell of oils, and the smell of mechanics, and like everything is rotten, and like you can’t take a breath because . . . You just want to go where the summer and the trees are. Like you’re trying to escape all the time, but even the small places like with fresh breath, they’re still limited. You go outside for some vacation in the country and then you have to go back. I didn’t like that place. I didn’t like the people there. It’s not something I was fond of. I wanted something other.

3.

Gregory: How is it possible to forgive the unforgivable?

Marianna: To tell you the truth, I have held a lot of grudges when I was little. To my mom, to my family, to some people who went outside of my life. But as I grew up, I thought that life is too short to keep grudges to anyone. I don’t think you should hold grudges. I think that’s one of my motivation in life. I think the positivity that comes with me comes from my mindset that I don’t hold grudges.

Gregory: Now.

Marianna: Now, exactly.

Gregory: But how about when you were a child?

Marianna: No, it was unforgivable. When I was a child, I didn’t want to forget anyone and forgive.

Gregory: So it was not possible for you to forgive—

Marianna: For me, no. For me, then, it was impossible. As a child. Because, as a child, your imagination goes wild so you can’t keep yourself from forgetting some things. You can’t keep yourself from moving on. Sadly. It comes hand by hand, imaginations, and memories. It’s really hard.

Gregory: Hard to forgive.

Marianna: Yeah.

Gregory: Because of bad memories and—

Marianna: Yeah.

Gregory: And what do you mean by imagination?

Marianna: Well, because when you’re small, smaller, you don’t have many explanations about what’s happening. So you just make up your own stories. You just make up your own fantasies. You just make up your own scenarios and these scenarios don’t help with forgiving, especially. Cause it’s always the worst-case scenario.

Gregory: Were they negative mostly?

Marianna: Yeah, really negative.

4.

Gregory: Marianna, what makes you happy as a child?

Marianna: Tricky question as a child.

Ah! Reading books! I loved reading books. I really loved reading books. Because I had a lot of free time, I would always stay in my bed, listen to music, and read books. Drawing was there, too, but not as frequently as I wanted. But books were there. That’s why my fantasy is so good.

Gregory: What kinda books? Would you share?

Marianna: It was not Shakespeare for sure. I loved fantasy books. I can’t recall right now the authors, but Harry Potter was most of the time. Because it was another world, another world with magic. So you were always like . . . you were taken to another world. That’s why these were happier memories.

5.

Gregory: Would you please describe a world in which God exists and a world in which God does not exist?

Marianna: A world where God exists is . . . where my mom and dad were together, for sure. Where we were happy with what we had. Where we didn’t strive for more. Where we didn’t try harder for everything. Where we didn’t feel obligated to hurt each other. That’s for me where God existed. Where people weren’t so selfish and they held really together the things . . . they didn’t want you to make misfortune for others. They just wanted to be together, happy. That’s my world with God. For me, that’s what God is. It’s love. It’s mostly sharing happiness and being good with each other.

Gregory: But a world where God doesn’t exist is . . . maybe exactly the place we’re living right now.

Marianna: Where everyone are just for themselves. Like, very little, really small possibility of people to be happy with what they have. Like, even if a person doesn’t get something, just a small part, he gets disappointed. He’s not happy with what he has. So this is a world where God doesn’t exist because we’re selfish. Because we just want more and more.

Gregory: Mhm.

Marianna: Yeah. Because as a child, I always wanted to become something that would change the world. Something that would make God to exist.

Gregory: Mhm.

Marianna: Would be more pleasant.

6.

Gregory: What is your most vivid memory . . . from your childhood?

Marianna: I think, my most, most vivid is when I was really small. When I was three years old. Because actually . . . when you’re small you can’t chew everything because you have still small teeth and everything. So what I remember from my mom, I really liked chestnuts. I really liked eating chestnuts, but I couldn’t because they always make my gums bleed. Because I didn’t have strong teeth yet. So what my mom did, she always chewed chestnuts first, and then she gave them to me. [laughs] I know it’s gross right now, but at that moment, it was the most tasty thing of everything I ever tried. Even if she tries it right now, it will not be the same because my memory from then is really vivid. I don’t know. The taste, the smell. It’s the motion, I think.

Gregory: Mhm.

Marianna: And that’s what remained in my memory. This simple motion.

7.

Gregory: What will be the kindest thing you do when you’re older?

Marianna: When I was a child, I always wanted to help animals. Not people so much. Ok, now I learned to love people, too. But when I was a child, I really, really wanted to help animals. So creating a house for animals. At the time, and even right now, I think that’s the best thing I could do. To help myself, and the people and the animals, and everyone.

_

Gregory: Alright, so, please answer the next seven questions from your perspective today.

Marianna: Ok.

_

8.

Gregory: What is going to be in your suitcase on the day of departure -to another planet- (literal or symbolic)?

Marianna: Can I have my cats with me, yeah?

Gregory: Mhm, anything.

Marianna: My cats, for sure. My two small babies. My iPad because I don’t go anywhere without it. Some books. That’s it.

Gregory: That’s it?

Marianna: Mhm.

9.

Gregory: How many lives would you like to live?

Marianna: So I read this book where . . . I think it’s from China. You have four lives. The first one, the first life, is when you prepare it. Where you prepare your life. It will be really, really hard. The second one will be easier, but still a lot of hardships. The third one, you’re going to live it, you’re going to like it, but like everyone, you’re going to have hardships. It’s life. And the fourth one will be something that you will understand. You will be in your own nirvana. Even though you will have your own hardships, you will be a lot better because you will believe in positivity. Even in hardships, you will be the best one there.

Gregory: Tell me the differences between the first, second, and third, please.

Marianna: The first one is really, really hard. The first life, you are crying, you’re miserable. Lots of misfortunes.

Gregory: Do you learn during that life?

Marianna: Yeah, you learn and you build. But you don’t build something around you, you build yourself. Your own character.

Gregory: Mhm, you learn through suffering mostly.

Marianna: Exactly. You build your character like that.

Gregory: What about the second one then?

Marianna: The second one, you already went through many, many hardships. You’re miserable, okay? You’re really miserable, but you think that you have a long life ahead of you so you’re trying to take things with a better perspective. More positivity.

Gregory: Do you retain the memories from your first life in the second one?

Marianna: No, you don’t. But it’s all inside your soul.

Gregory: Mhm, and your soul is miserable in the second one.

Marianna: Yeah.

Gregory: From the get-go.

Marianna: Yeah, you’re born miserable. But you learn with the people around you, with the circumstances, you learn. You don’t think everything is bad, everything is negative. You start to open up to the world.

Gregory: Mhm. What about the third one?

Marianna: The third one becomes a lot easier. It’s easier to breathe. It’s easier to walk. You start dancing; you start breathing; you start drawing. You’re, you’re, I don’t know . . . you smile a lot.

Gregory: Mhm.

Marianna: You still have your bad points, of course. Life is hard, but you smile a lot.

Gregory: You smile a lot in the third one.

Marianna: Yeah, yeah. [Laughs]

Gregory: Ok, what about the fourth one? What do you do in the fourth one?

Marianna: The fourth? Yeah, um, I think even though maybe you’re born in bad circumstances, but you will always, always keep a positive mind. And when you keep a positive mind, better things come. Always. It’s a rule for me at least. So in the fourth life, you will be happy.

Gregory: Mhm.

Marianna: You will have your hardships, but you will overcome them and you will help people. You will help yourself, you will heal everyone. You will be a guru.

Gregory: Mhm. Is it possible to live all four lives in one life?

Marianna: Yeah. It is.

Gregory: It is possible?

Marianna: Yeah.

Gregory: So my question again: how many lives would you like to live?

Marianna: One life.

Gregory: One . . . that’s full of all four experiences that you just listed?

Marianna: Yeah. Sadly, or happily, I don’t know. That’s how life is.

10.

Gregory: What should be forgotten and what should be remembered, Marianna?

Marianna: The things that make you hold grudges should be forgotten. Because you can’t grow up while holding grudges. You can’t keep thinking about things that make you miserable. You should forgive and forget. That’s by my standards. So, yeah. And remember the happy moments.

Gregory: Remember the happy moments.

Marianna: Yeah.

11.

Gregory: What would you like to know?

Marianna: Ok. If there’s another life. If there’s something there. After that, I don’t know. Or even know the nearest planet. I don’t know.

Gregory: If there’s life—

Marianna: Yeah, even that. Even that would make me happy I think.

Gregory: Just to know if there’s another life.

Marianna: Yeah, yeah. Besides human race. That would be different, you know. Like—

Gregory: Like alien life?

Marianna: Yeah! That would be awesome.

Gregory: And what would you like to know about alien life?

Marianna: [Silence] How are they? [Laughs]

Gregory: Ha?

Marianna: How are they, are they ok? How is life for them? [Laughs]

Gregory: So you worry about them? [Laughs]

Marianna: Yeah. [Laughs] Do they have the same emotions as humans have?

Gregory: Ha, what else?

Marianna: Um, actually because I have a lot of books about fantasy, so I’m really futuristic. I would love to know their technology for sure. Even though I’m not into science, like, how could you cure the diseases we have, like, if they could share? That’s my second thought.

Gregory: Mhm.

12.

Gregory: Describe yourself to non-human intelligent life, please.

Marianna: Ok, positive, curious, creative . . . these are the basics I know.

Um, I nag a lot and I’m really nervous.

Gregory: You do what?

Marianna: I nag . . . to make things complicated, to create drama. I’m one of these people. And I’m really nervous, neurotic, like I get irritated by simple things that a normal person wouldn’t expect.

Yeah. [Laughs] I said the positive things and the negative things to keep a balance.

13.

Gregory: What is in the middle between good and evil?

Marianna: [Silence] Between good and evil, so it’s neutral.

Gregory: Right in the middle.

Marianna: Hmm, feelings.

Gregory: Feelings.

Marianna: Yeah. Because you can’t control them. They’re not going to be good or evil. Because they’re personal. You can’t control them. So they are neutral. They always go with the perspective of the person. But they’re inside of you, so every person will have something different, and to you, it may seem evil or good, but to him it’s neutral. Because it’s feelings.

Gregory: Mhm.

14.

Gregory: What makes you happy?

Marianna: My friends.

Gregory: Your friends.

Marianna: Yeah! [Laughs] I have really good friends.

Gregory: Mhm.

–

Life

Life isn’t easy, but I’m happy inside.
Life is amazing, so are you and I.
Life is awaiting, so rush, don’t be shy.
It’s all you ever wanted, go on, live, and shine.